How To Talk Like a Pirate

How To Talk Like a Pirate

Simplify, ye poxy dogs! Mateys, mateys why ye wastin precious breath on syllables and letters what neer do ye no good?! Bilge, that be! The good Lord above, in His infinite wisdom, created the apostrophe fer a reason, yhear? He also created grog, bless Him! Look ye now, whilst I offer an example:

Excuse me, madam, would you please be so kind as to bring me a spot of rum? I would like to have a drink.

Arrr, in me many years, I neer seen such addled lassies as the likes o you, what should meet the ropes end! Ill have yer lights and liver if ye dont rid yerself o the useless words. Me times precious!

There be no is, you, your, my or mine in pirate! Or be yer deadlights truly dead? Belay that bilge! Use be stead o is, ye stead o you, yer stead o your, and me fer both my and mine. In days o yore, yed be wearin the hempen halter fer yer mutinous ways. Luck be with ye today; we be a more forgivin lot let ye be flogged t smarten ye up!

Pray ye, powder monkey, learn yer seafarin lingo or Ill lay the Black Spot on ye! What pirate would say woman stead o wench, or hello, not ahoy? A pirate what wants t feed the fish, thats what! Now, be ye a sea dog or a bilge rat? Bucko or blaggard? Learn ye the fine words o pirates, trusted fer centuries. Shiver me timbers, ye be requirin a list?

Ahoy hello there!

Matey generally friendly thing t call a person.

Hearty more friendly than matey.

Grog watereddown rum aye, a staple of any pirates diet!

Bilge the unwanted water collectin in yer vessel weighs er down and needs removin.

Belay stop it belay that ___ means cut that ____ out.

Hempen halter the noose!

Pieces of eight silver coins that be worth far less than a doubloon.

Doubloon gold coins precious currency, this be.

And fer a fuller appreciation o pirate vocabulary, this be a treasuretrove of pirate slang.

Acquire a parrot. Worth a few doubloons, IMHO. Lends an air o majesty to ye. Aye, commands respect from any scurvy dog, it does, when he hears a parrot repeat yer orders. Why, yask? Ye take me fer a professor o psychology? A parrot be loyal, steadfast and attentive. Speak up, lad ye got no doubloons, or een pieces o eight? Well, ye got a cutlass, dont ye?! Care not to spill blood, eh, bilge rat? A pox on ye!

If ye be wantin to talk like a old sea dog, there be no need for ye t go havin the Davies and that be no reference t Ray Davies, ye worthless lubber. Follow me advice, and yell neer find yerself feedin the fish less it be yer beloved goldfish.